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  • Alex Bortell

prayer

I am a better liar than adam. man was meant to be more than sinner, more than desire corded around sheetmetal, more than king. God is king, at least thats what they told me/when i was taught. When Do i get to sit on the throne. A pretty boy in my lap, at my feet, on my hip where the sheath for the hilt is. I deceived eve. My crown is gilded, no thorns. I wear it anyway. I need nothing but fat and bone, i need teeth in my shoulder and meat on my tongue. I used to eat steak raw. Maybe from starvation, maybe from bloodlust. Once my mother held my hair and stuffed my mouth while i screamed. I want her to scream back at me. My sister at the kitchen table, my father in the shed. Im just like him. Im Walking back out to the shed. Watching my grandmothers car through the window waiting to take us to church to be blessed. I want to get into heaven. I had a nightmare or a fantasy that i folowed my farther into the shed out back and cut him down like a tree with a chainsaw. I am the the prince of oak/ash/birch/and/pine. Its only fair that i fell him. O Divine guidance guide my sawblade. heavenly angelic boys weep for me to come home, licking the blood from the tiles, i rejoice and am made holy. leather in the mouth, soles on the stomach, lets fuck until somebody calls the cops until jesus rises from the grave and comes to my aparment and kills us

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